see nikki i was just waiting to post all at once!

So hallelujah! I think we found our house! I have spent several ALL CONSUMING weeks trying to find a place in portland that fits our family is relatively close to both Beau's next destination (downtown), and Annica's school (Laurelhurst area) AND not completely unattainable financially! And I kind of wanted it to be cute and have a yard.
These last few weeks have been extremely difficult. I've really struggled not to be completely absorbed, and try to be focused on Christ and the other importants in my life (my kiddo's and hubby) and it was really difficult. I looked at the better part of a dozen houses, made a few dozen calls, and spent probably as may hours online hunting, and all of this on top of our regular crazy life-style. I definitely spent a few days crashed or in tears, but what I came out with instead of the usual self-condemnation, was that although I didn't do it perfectly, which in my mind would have looked like:
walking the entire time through, in the spirit and not the flesh,
keeping every appointment,
having every dish and speck of dirt clean, s
witching effortlessly my mind from business to mommy, and yes even having some time engaged with my husband. managing my time perfectly and all with the joy of the spirit.

Nope not a chance.

But, through several moments of tears, moments of realization of where I was at, surrendering to Gods provision rather than my own, and some good counsel, I came out realizing that I had fought. Meaning that I didn't just give in to the pressure, or the temptation to loose myself in my business completely, but that I made conscious effort, and sought prayer with others, and so in that way made progress in personal stress management. And also, let go of my short-comings during these "stressy" times. Its really not about me anyways, but as Mr. Lute says, "...and yet it is" which is a beautiful part of our relationship with Christ.

One of the other big deals was that not only do we loose our place when Beau graduates, but we loose his job too. (he does work-study for the school as a custodian). So we needed a job too. Anything that would work around school hours would pay as much or more. So he has an interview with Starbucks on Wednesday! Yay, they called him back before he had arrived home. hurray for free coffee!! (Even if the beans are a bit burned)

The verse that God spoke to me during this time was so perfect. We are doing this Beth Moore Bible study on the "Psalms of Ascent"... anyways, we studied Psalm 121, right at the beginning of this time for me and it was so ... well God's timing is never accidental....

Psalm 121

"I lift up my eyes to the hills--
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip--
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neiher slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you--
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm--
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore."

What stood out to me the most (besides the entire chapter) was that he protects our comings and goings. And I always recalled that verse as he knows or comings and goings, which I linked to Him giving us blind direction and wisdom because of His knowledge. And while that is true, this says he PROTECTS them, which is just more intimate. I loved that. And that it goes from "The Maker of Heaven and Earth" to this personal was really ... well it was from God.

Oh and I cant forget to shout out to "mej" an enormous thank you for being supportive and interested in my hunt, with my husband being absorbed with school, I would have been alone in the caring about where we live next state that I was in. And in all fairness my sister took a lot of crap with my stress and did some really sweet gestures like taking the kids out and even bringing over some pizza so i wouldn't have to cook - I really do have some awesome supporters to be thankful for!! (And I am!)